Expectations
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| sweater body finished, onto the sleeves! |
Yesterday I decided to pull out my paints and paint on watercolor paper. Lately my artwork has been daily sketching with a little bit of paints on drawing paper. I love the fastness and the ease of mental low pressure when I do a daily sketch.
I pulled out a new paint set that I received from Santa and I sat at the table with high expectations of great artwork about to be produced by me. Sadly, I made a hot mess of it. I was disappointed and frustrated.
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| felix cardigan cast on |
Of course I will not share the picture! I almost ripped it out of my watercolor sketchbook but then I thought, 'where is the learning if I don't have documentation of my progress?' You see, I LOVE to flip through notebooks and see my progress. The progress isn't linear nor is it beautiful but it's there when I show up day after day. I capture shadows or a blend colors just right.
I have my very first sweater (mint green!) that I knit when I was a teen. Oh the mistakes and the missed accurate measuring of the elusive gauge. I look at that masterpiece and see my younger self trying and succeeding in making a garment. It's not perfect but I made it. That sweater is over 40 years old.
I've decided to keep my horrible watercolor painting tucked away for now. Afterwards I did paint a delightful bird and was pleased with my attempt - all is not lost.
I take for granted my skills as a knitter. I knit without looking most of the time at my projects, I know when my gauge is on or off, I know when yarn isn't meeting my expectations and switch it out for something else. I alter patterns at a whim. I look at charts and my fingers know what to do without using words for the symbols, it's like piano playing for knitting. All of these aspects weren't gained in a week. I've been knitting for 40+ years.
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| new paint set |
So I try to set aside my art expectations and show up. Creativity needs room to grow and expecting a specific outcome squelches creativity.
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| a delightfully clean kitchen |
Anyways, can I tell you how happy I am that I am not reading the Grant biography? Golly! I've been languishing in fictional reading and it's glorious. It'll be a while until I read another huge non-fiction book like that. Right now I'm reading Dutch House and A Better Man both are enjoyable.
Hooray for showing up, making progress, and appreciating it. You do them all so well!
ReplyDeleteI long for that much kitchen counter space! Sigh! But, your sweater is looking FANTASTIC! Go you!
ReplyDeleteTo me, your water colors are just fine. Glad you decided to keep the ine you dislike. You are correct in we only grow by remembering what did not work. I envy your ability to know your knitting so well. I have gotten to where I can knit without looking as long it is not a lace pattern. But to be able to know whether you have gauge or not is fantastic. Holly cracked me up.
ReplyDeleteHolly is such a cutie!! Like Kat, I long for your kitchen space. The sweater looks great and I, too, love your paintings and drawings. A Better Man was not my favorite of the Louise Penny books, but they are really all enjoyable. Dutch House I enjoyed as well. Wishing you a fabulous weekend!
ReplyDeleteAble to view your progress... Wise way to go.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder you have knitting 'down-pat'!!!! Having done it for 40 years. Lovely to have gained this 6th sense, about how a project is going.
A delightfully clean kitchen! Oh the Joy! I got it, the other day. And I am working hard, on keeping it that way!!!! Clean up as I go. It makes so much sense, but........... -smile- Not all common sense, is common!
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What a MR. CLEAN kitchen! Don't worry about your starts and stops. We cannot be perfectly creative all the time. I can't be any how. I just ripped a fingerless out
ReplyDeleteAbout the painting...remember any new skill (or when you unlearn to learn a new way to do something) can be painful mentally. If you feel stressed, just realize it is your brain trying to learn a new way to do something. It is progress. It was the only way I could deal with learning oil paints after having taken lessons in watercolors and painted for many years with them...two totally different systems and, boy, my mind did not like it, but it learned.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true Karen. You are so right that it easy to forget that those things that we find easy are because we have been doing them for years. It is hard to go back to the beginning isn't it.
ReplyDeleteYour self-pep talk re: creativity struck a chord with me...I am constantly amazed at how much I don't do because of being stymied by the "perfection" game...Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your journal pages, knitting, clean kitchen, current reads and for inspiring us!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the weekend!
Cheers~
Oh boy, them books are thick, girl. Wowza; kudos to you on reading stuff like that. Sorry the watercolor was a bust but yeah, artistic creativity is all about learning. I'm still learning how to use die cuts in my cardmaking.
ReplyDeleteYour words about progress not always being linear are so wise. Many writers also write about a daily practice of showing up. A wise writing teacher had two suggestions for me when I began: read (no problem) and write daily - even if it was just a few sentences. You are so wise to think about how long you have been knitting and what you have learned. Happy reading days as you move on to other books!
ReplyDeleteI've been wanting to cast on a Felix too. Can't wait to see how yours turns out. I think your paintings are quit impressive. I like the ducks on the pond best. (Pictures of butterflies freak me out a little bit. LOL)
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